Bert had only been “a god” for a little over a week. Jedrek had come in to tell him he was promoted and that he should get “a plan” going. Bert sat there, trying to think what “a plan” actually meant. A plan for what? Creation? Population? Jedrek was quite respected, but Bert was scared to ask questions. Jedrek was his supervisor, but what Bert understood that to be, and what Jedrek was doing were two different things. It made Bert feel like he was not supposed to be promoted. Was he supposed to have learned how to read minds?
He stared blankly at what he felt was most like a window, except that it was not a window, it’s just that Bert wanted to be that way. His whole living quarters, if you could call it that seemed to adapt and read his mind. Sometimes it was bigger like a mansion, and other times smaller like a cottage. One time he had awoke after an “odd” dream in the playboy mansion. He scrambled to collect and hopefully control his thoughts, but try as he might, his house became more and more “embarrassing”. Jedrek showed up, a single eyebrow raised. In exasperation Bert exclaimed that this was NOT what he wanted. Jedrek had a very specific look on, at least to Bert. It said, “Sure Bert, they all say this is NOT what they want”. Jedrek looked around thoughtfully, and the house changed to something Bert was not so embarrassed about. The only advice he was left with? “Slow is fast and fast is slow Bert.”
Why everyone in the afterlife had to speak so cryptically didn’t make sense to Bert. It made him not want to ask questions at all, so when Jedrek had showed up smiling, and announcing he was being promoted to “God”, and to prepare a plan, Bert had embarrassingly asked the question “So just prepare a plan then?” Bert felt the flush of his embarrassment over the question wash all over him. Jedrek looked at him blankly for a second, as if to tell him “Of course Bert… That’s what I said”. But instead Jedrek just smiled and said “I’ll be back later to check in”.
“Create some cool stuff” Bert mumbled to himself. He was seriously thinking of writing that down.
“What’s cool…”
Bert was an accountant in his previous life. He never married, and didn’t really live outside of his comfort zone either.
“Non-carbon-producing-coal!”. The thought felt revolutionary, and at the same time he could see Jedrek give him the look. After a few hours he decided that’s all he had.
Jedrek showed up the following day to check in on him. By then Bert’s home had changed into a dusty old crypt. Complete with cobweb covered skeletons, and screams from a dungeon. Jedrek laughed so hard that he was in tears. That was until the walls started melting from Bert’s unconfident anger.
“Oh, sorry Bert, you know, everyone believes in you, and frankly the reason you are here is not to create a world, it’s to make a plan. Okay?”
Bert felt at the end of his rope. “I can’t even do that” he muttered…
“Bert, listen to me… I know you feel that way, and the first thing you need to understand is that even though on your world, the God was taught as being perfect, Gods are not perfect, so quit trying to make a perfect plan, because we all know, you won’t come up with everything.”
Bert was not ready to respond
“Listen, I get it” Jedrek continued, “You’ve always had rules to guide you, but there are none here. You make them up on your own. The only way anyone can learn is by making mistakes, and the quicker you become okay with living in the playboy house, and the quicker you can smile off your current reality, the quicker you’ll get it. Nobody judges here, you can even do nothing.”
Jedrek looked at him earnestly.
What Jedrek said made sense to Bert, and Bert knew that he was harder on himself that Jedrek was.
“I’ll keep trying” was all Bert could say.
“Good for you Bert” Jedrek smiled. I’ll be back in a week, and we’ll keep working through it. In the meantime, clean up a little okay?
Bert flushed. “Okay” he replied.
Jedrek disappeared leaving Bert alone with the stupid paper and the coal idea on it. He decided to leave it on. Running his hands through his hair, he casually wrote down his next idea. Money trees.
Bert smiled.
