Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Rise up!

It is often when I am in my darkest moments, that I come to find the answers that I need. I suppose it is because only then, do I become open to their possibility. I write freely today. I'm not going to be embarrassed about what I write. I've never really opened myself up to anyone, except my Wife. We've talked a lot about the emotional struggles of running. I wish I understood why our runs go this way. If I did, maybe I could change it. Unfortunately, I cannot. All of our runs lately have been miserable. The weather does not help. Guess what? There was snow on the ground this morning. It hovered around 0 with a cold wind out of the north. The windchill hovering around -7. With 2 months until race day, I get nervous that we're not getting in any hot weather training. Virginie picks up some of these queues. At least, that is how I see it right now.

It's got me thinking. History is replete with those who, under tremendous odds and struggle, rose up in their moment of trial again and again to fulfill. I don't know who any of them are, but look at our society today? We live in a tremendous society, and I think the future looks tremendously bright for us. There are perhaps many who will suggest that we will over populate the earth, and destroy the ozone layer, but I look at the rising generation, and I see in them the type of people who think outside of the box. I believe they are ready to face the challenges of the future, and will face them with optimism. They may reject many of the ideas of past thinking, and that may be difficult, but in the end, I believe the rising generation will "rise up", and provide solutions to many of our most difficult problems.

My circle of influence is quite a bit smaller. Frankly, I have a hard enough time controlling myself :). With that said, I offer my commitment. I will also "rise up". I will not give up. Virginie told me that this morning. She won't give up until she's told she can't try anymore. Rising up may be different this time. If I had to choose between my Wife and running, then see you later running, Virginie is the most important person in the world to me. Perhaps people can still donate to that cause. Either way, each of us will arrive at a point at the road (or trail), where the trail does not go where you expected. You'll be expected to make a decision at that point on which way to go. I may be facing that decision. I guess it's my turn to "rise up", pick a direction, and run on. I tend to see life in black and white. Meaning, once I make a decision, there is no going back. That's not true though. If I pick a direction, and after running it a bit, I can always turn back and take the other. Perhaps it's the case that it would be better to take the wrong way. You see, the quicker I learn which way is wrong, the quicker I can get back on the way which is right. I just cannot fear making mistakes.

If you have some encouragement to offer though, please add it in the comments. We really need it right now!!!


  1. I wish I had something encouraging to say but I feel like I might not be much help. Honestly, I have felt a lot of what you are feeling. My race isn't near as substantial or demanding as the one you are training for, physically and emotionally, but I too have been feeling the weary unrelenting ache of the poor weather and the fatigue and self-doubt and fear that can sometimes mask the excitement and joy we can feel. I am also lucky like you - my spouse is going to run with me. Also know this Stephen - your family is with you. Your family now, the family past, your future family. We are all watching and cheering and praying and hoping. We might not all be able to be there at the finish line of this race but through the gospel and covenants and faith and the most infinite atonement, we can all be there at the finish line that counts the most. I love reading your blog; I can relate to so much of what both of you are saying and it has helped me. So happy trails to you, dear cousin. Take things calm and easy. All will be well.

  2. Thanks Janna! You inspire me too. Hopefully we'll find ourselves on the same road or trail one of these days.

  3. Thank you Jenna!! Your words really touch me! So often when I share our goal with people they immediately discount their own efforts by saying they couldn't even run 5 km or so. By saying that they are closing the door on any possibility of dreaming bigger and I feel that they isolate me by making me untouchable. We all want to belong to something bigger than ourselves and I've been feeling the physical pain of isolation lately. So by sharing some of the same feelings you can relate to, you have gently brought me into your circle of influence. For that I cannot thank you enough!!